Colbert: Who Benefits From Spending $436 Million on Tanks The Pentagon Doesn't Want?
Photo Credit: Comedy Central
On last night’s Colbert Report, our favorite fake conservative pundit took on Congress’ insistence on spending taxpayer money on tanks the Pentagon doesn’t want, while “The unemployed have seen smaller benefit checks, some cancer patients have gone without treatment, and lines for New York’s La Guardia Airport now start at Chicago’s O’Hare.”
“Well there are things the government spends money on that are worth—stay with me— spending money—stay with me—on,” Colbert continued. “And as usual, those things are tanks. They are so important that we need them even when we don’t need them.”
The host notes that Ohio’s Senator Rob Portman and Representative Jim Jordon advocate most for dishing out $436 million on Abrams tanks that the army would use in “a different way.” Rep. Jordan of Lima, Ohio, where the tanks are manufactured says, defense spending is one of the only areas we can’t afford cutting back. The other, Colbert notes, is his district.
But all doesn’t have to be wasted. Colbert offered a couple of innovative ways to utilize the upgraded Abrams tanks to compensate for other programs slashed by the sequester.
“Meals and Wheels got hit by the sequester. Let’s replace it with Breads on Treads,” Colbert suggested. “One of these tanks can barrage elderly people with sticky buns from three miles away.”
The host ended his segment with a sharp critique of influence in Congressional politics.
“The best thing is we won’t have to shut down the tank plant in Ohio. And that will save jobs. Well, two of them,” Colbert quipped, showing portraits of Portman and Jordan.