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Chuck Norris: A Bar of Soap and a Box of Rocks

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Washed-Up Action Star Aims Geriatric Karate Chop at the Constitution

When combating repulsive fundamentalist Christian religious supremacists like Chuck Norris, you don't need to be a martial arts black belt. You only need to consider the telling attributes of the pathetic source of the hatred. Then you need to let the people know about it all.

We at the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF) pride ourselves on being the decisive bulwark in the fight to safeguard the religious liberties and civil rights of United States armed servicemembers who have encountered a panoply of grotesquely acute abuses visited upon them for their choices of religious preferences (or lack thereof). As anyone who follows MRFF knows well, we're used to taking the fight to the very top, whether it be the hallowed halls of military academia, the highest echelons of the U.S. Department of Defense, or the war rooms of the top brass at the offices of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Our attack arsenal of remediation regularly includes filing Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests, drafting appropriately aggressive demand letters, breaking stories in the national and international media, litigating when necessary, and ceaselessly advocating in a plethora of other meaningful ways on behalf of our over 32,000 active duty and veteran armed forces clients. Please remember that 96% of MRFF clients are practicing Christians themselves.

However, support for a frightfully dangerous and illegal brand of Christian nationalist-militarism ensconced within our armed forces has spewed forth from various civilian quarters. Who are they? They are the ignoble clerical extremists at the Chaplain Alliance for Religious Liberty, former military chaplains who, among other innocent targets of unadulterated hatred, rabidly fulminate and foam at the mouth at the prospect of social equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and questioning servicemembers. They are the wretchedly hateful bigots at the Family Research Council, who wield the media as a cudgel for advancing their rapacious theocratic agenda of sectarian religious domination. They are the despicable and cowardly bloggers within the armed forces who, with the tacitly-supportive "blind eyes" of their command chains, obsessively wield their poison pens for the stated purpose of unconstitutionally acting as "Ambassadors for Christ in Uniform" on the World Wide Web. Similar to the "family values" shameful meme of yesteryear, this enormous pestilence of fundamentalist Christian religious predators are united under a clearly discernible, phony "religious liberties" rubric for the sake of throwing red meat to their vicious base of bigots.

And then there are the septuagenarian martial arts film stars who proclaim biblical creationism as fact, can act almost as well as a bar of soap, and who are as smart as a box of rocks.

Chuck Norris, the intelligence-challenged star of such "high-quality" forgettable feature films as "Top Dog," "Breaker, Breaker," and "Sidekicks," has long been a hero to the fundamentalist Evangelical lunatic fringe. A former supporter of hokey Dominionist would-be President Mike Huckabee, Norris has long adhered to the unforgivingly savage, science-disparaging, Christian fundamentalist world-outlook. He doesn't like it very much when anyone, or any country, rejects his brand of weaponized Christianity. In particular and with special venom, he embraces a wretchedly fundamentalist Christian exceptionalist perspective concerning the Constitutionally-mandated separation of church and state. And the U.S. military is his favorite target of warning and disdain.

Norris's most recent "journalistic" endeavor consisted of his grand announcement of a special list of shame meant, apparently, to show how America is swiftly going down the drain. His latest diatribe manifests itself in a pedestrian boilerplate presentation of various supposed shocking infringements on "religious liberty." Predictably, nearly a dozen of these 36 "instances" concerned the United States military. Of these, nearly all were epic Constitutional defense fights involving MRFF.